Saturday, December 13, 2008
What is it about Christmas that makes even the nicest of grannies turn into raving, violent, homicidal, manics?
I for one hate christmas. That's right you read that right. It's depressing and to even pretend to like that one person in your family that you normally wouldn't come near is excruciating.
I have the type of family that makes the Manson family look like the Brady Bunch. I feel like the normal girl on the Munsters. I do not belong in this family at all.
Every year i go through the same bullshit. I have to ask every individual what their doing for christmas because no one can stand to be in the same room as each other. I have to set aside a week just to see everyone. And I'm not from a divorced family.
Everybody hates my grandma, shes the epitome of a Nazi concentration camp leader. I can't give her my phone number because she'll call my house daily from 8am till 9pm until she talks to me. I'm not joking. She drove my ex-roommate nuts. My only hope for her is that she'll get Alzheimer and forget my phone number.
My mother isn't bad, however she has her moments where I'm afraid to become her when i get older. She's as dence as a stale piece of bread. And folks no giving her alcohol because it just makes it worse.
My Father... ok hes not actually my dad, but he's been with my mother long enough to be considered as such. He's your typical cheap Mennonite. If you go out to eat and he pays, he'll calculate to the penny how much you owe him the next time you hang out.
I have two sisters who are older than me. Now just because their older doesn't make them smarter. In fact quite the opposite. I have absolutely nothing in common with either sister so it make it quite difficult to have a decent intellectual conversation with them. Unless you consider talking about the latest in hair accessories an intelligent conversation. And niter of them like my mother or grandmother so having them show up to even say my wedding in 7 months is going to be a feat even Houdini would avoid, because the outcome might end in a massacre with only the bride and groom standing at the alter with a matching his and hers AK-47.
Now i probably gave you the wrong impression about myself. I am usually a really sweet person who unfortunately people like to take advantage of. I have put up with way too much B.S. in my life but still end up getting myself in situations where the word "NO" seems to escape my vocabulary.
This year was an interesting year. I work for one of the biggest video Game stores that came from the States. I have been transferred from store to store hoping to be picked as the next assistant manager, but never getting the position. It would be nice to finally get recognized as the person who works their ass off for a company that should in nicer terms "Burn to the fucking ground."
Yeah i know what your thinking, why don't you get a different job or go to school to get a career?
Guess what!!! I did go to school. I took Broadcasting.... I love to talk, I love people and I'm very out going and extremely creative. I'm a shoe in for the next daytime talk show host.
Truth is, I went to school for 9 months, passed the course with flying colors. Got my degree and now I'm searching for any radio station that would be nice enough to take me. Why radio you ask? Because i'm not that sexy blond girl you see doing the weather on the local news. Hell my fashion sence would have the people on "What Not To Wear" in tears. Yes i watch TLC, I'm a verry complex person.
Truth is TV scares me a bit, because i make smart ass remarks about the news and the bull shit that happens in this city all the time, I don't want to be searching for a job everytime I get caught on camera laughing at the dumb girl who can't read her script on the telleprompter. Plus I like the fact that i can go to work in my pj's and have my hair messy from lastnights sex with my hubby and no one can see what i look like.
But at the same time i would like to combine the two to make an internet radio station to promote Winnipeg.
So here is the the first taste of what your going to be expecting. I would like to introduce to you
W.I.P.S. WINNIPEG'S INDEPENDENT PROGRAMMING STATION
The only station that offers music and content straight from the best city in Canada.
For more info please feel free to check out www.blogtv.com/people/willowspillow
or contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Have a great christmas.