MISS DIAGNOSIS

I am proud to live in a country where health care is provided Freely without having to pay an arm and a leg for treatment. However I do have a problem with a system that has a habit of giving the wrong information without doing the proper tests.

Back in 2001 I went for my first PAP Test. The doctor who performed the test informed me that I had a Benign Cyst in my vagina. Shocked to hear this news I asked the doctor what can be done about it and she told me that its nothing to worry about.

Fast forward about six years later. I had just quit a stressful job being a security guard and I feel pain in my right side. Sharp Piercing Pain. It got to the point where I couldn't walk, it hurt to move. I'm not one to take pain killers unless it called for it, in one day I had taken Over my limit of Tyonal. My roommate at the time had T3's I had taken 4 of them and still the pain persisted.

I went to see my husband's family doctor to find out what was wrong. He told me it was an ulcer and put me on medication. Now keep in mind he didn't actually take my blood, or take any tests. Instead he poked at the area where I told him it hurt and he made up his mind from that.

Well guess what the pain was still there and the medication did absolutely nothing. I decided one day to go in for another PAP test. I found out that I had abnormal Cells around my Cervix and remember the Cyst? Yeah that grew to the size of a grape fruit according to the Gynecologist who removed it for me. Since then I haven't had any pain in my side and I've been given a bill of clean health.

I've lived with a giant sack of PUSS in my vagina for six years. I'm thanking my lucky stars that's all it was. You should be able to trust what the doctor says as being true. They are there to tell us weather or not we are healthy, and when we aren't they are supposed to tell us how to make us healthy.

Recently I had some problems with my right foot. I have a spur on my heal (it a build up of calcium on the bone) I have changed shoes, worn out several insoles, and tried to live with the pain. But the pain in my heal doesn't compare to the pain I now feel in my big toe and across the top of my foot. Again I have taken many a Tyonal to relive the pain but it still persists. I assumed it was because I was doing Yoga too much so I stopped.

Months went by, I got married, and switched jobs but I find my self in more pain and limping around the house like an old lady. I'm only 27.

I went to a podiatrist and she told me that I have a stress fracture. OK so I get a new insole in my shoes. Few weeks later I'm curious to know how bad the "Stress Fracture" is. I go on my day off to the clinic and wait 4 hours for an X-ray.

First of all the doctor is telling me that there's nothing wrong with my foot that the pain must be muscular and that i just need to get better shoes. I tell him about the spur on my heal. He gives me a blank stare and tries to argue with me and say I don't have one.

Ladies and gentlemen I saw the X-ray myself when I went to get my heal checked a few years ago. I saw the Spur, it looks like a little hook. I walk on it day in and day out, if that's not a spur on my heal WTF is it???

So he tries to prove me wrong by showing me the X-ray and yeah there was nothing wrong with it, however IT WAS THE WRONG X-RAY. He then relises his mistake and switches to my X-ray. Low and Bohold, I have a crooked toe. He tells me that I have a misalignment in my foot and that I should look into going into Physio Therapy. All fine and dandy if you have money to afford it, however I don't have my benefits yet at my job. And I doubt Starbucks pays that kind of money out for it.

Which brings to today. I made an apointment with my chiropractor to see if theres anything he can do for my foot. I go in after work, take off my sock and he tells me I have a Hallux valgus. which is a BUNION. My chiropractor was mad. He noticed it right away when i took off my sock.

Why is my chiropractor treating my foot when I went to two "Specialists"???? Has our medical society become that LAZY?

I understand their over loaded with patents but isn't that why we pay them the BIG BUCKS???

I'm tired of being misdiagnosed by doctors who are just in it for the money. That is how people die. I really don't want there to be a next time, because I'm worried it might be fatal.

Yay the comic con is finally here!!!

Time to

Geek-Out

and be that obnoxious nerd that I try to lock up every other time of year.

However this is my first comic-con and already I'm a bit peeved.

Why you ask well i'll put it like so....

1. First of all I can't go the whole weekend like I was dreaming for so many months ago. I can only go Friday. I have to work the rest of the weekend.

2. The main reason why I wanted to go was to meet Adam West ( think 1960's Batman for those who might want to ask the dumb question) wont be showing up till Sunday.

3. If by some miracle i would have been able to meet said pop icon (obviously not until magical pigs start to come down from heaven and fly out of my own ass) I would have to pay the entrance fee is $12.00 or if i wanted to go real crazy and pay for the weekend pass which is $30.00 at the door.

Then somehow dodge the relentless amount of drooling, allergy infected, asthma ridden, bio-hazards we call nerds. Get to where their holding the Q&A and pay $100.00 and listen to the COMIC BOOK GUY like mentality of many of the participants.

Then get in line and wait probably two hours if not longer depends on how many episode related questions and comments about how many women he slept with might be asked. Finally get to Mr. West and bend over like a cheap whore once again and pay another $40.00 for an autograph photo of the man I once called my favorite Batman (sorry Keaton and Bail)

Now if you were all fallowing the math problem. I'll give you a few moments to take out your hand dandy computer calculator.....(Humming Jeopardy theme music)

that brings us to #4.

$182.00..($152.00 if i only pay the twelve dollar fee)....WTF...... That doesn't include the amount of comics and toys and other shwag I may chose NOT to purchase because this magical place that is really a glorified FLEA MARKET (thank you to the owner of MAXX Collectibles in opening my eyes on the truth behind Comic-cons)

5. This event unfortunately does not fall on the weekend I get payed. Nore was I smart and saved up money for this event. I have bills that need to be payed, rent is due, and I also have a thing called a student loan (that will no doubt make me homeless if i don't find some job that even shows that I got a broadcasting degree for a reason and yes I've tried searching) I love my job at Starbucks but lets be hohnest I want to meet celebs and be paid to ask the questions everyone wants to know.

6. I spent months on my costume and I'm damn proud to say yes I've stooped that low...I'm dressing up for this thing because I love costumes. I've entered the costume contest for the Miss C4 competition and i hope i have most of the competitors beat, not that i mean to toot my own horn, but lets just say I have certain assets that comic artist get alot of grief about over emphasizing. Why is this a problem you ask. Well I have no flippin clue as to where I am going. The website doesn't tell me what room the costume contest is going to be in, NOR did the person who set this up E-mail me to where we are supposed to meet.

Ok I know I'm bitching too much but it does upset me quite a bit. We work hard for our money and not often do you see us UBER NERDS out in the public (the internet is our haven) But do you have to give us a metaphorical wedgie and make us pay a SHIT load of money to entertain us? There should be a law against Extortion.

Believe me, if the patrons of this event are anything like me, it doesn't take a whole lot to make us happy. All we need are the basics: Star Wars, Star Trek, new and used comics, maybe a few guests, and a considerate amount paraphernalia. Oh and FOOD. And unlimited usage of the WI FI connection. And if you charge a SMALL fee for everything.... WE WON'T BITCH!!!!

GOING TO THE CHAPEL....

Well actually its more like Going to the gazebo.

Yup its finally here, time to get hitched and start a family. I honestly thought I'd be waiting much longer.

So my stress level is down a few thousnd notches, but I still feel apprehensive. I have friends and family asking me if I'm doing the right thing.

Ladies and gentlemen let me ask you a question? If you had waited patiently for 6 long years for your partner to move in with you, wouldn't you want to get married too?

I have a great wedding planned, not sure what to expect but everything is planned.

Many thanks are in order... Mary Lou (mom #2) much appreciated for planning a wedding in such short notice. I know we only gave you three months but you did an excellent job. Wally (Dad #2) thank you for not going insane with the last minute running around. And of course to my fiance who kept me strong this entire time when I felt like I had failed as a human being.

To my family and friends Thank you for sticking by me and encouraging me to stick with a wonderful man. I only wish I had enough money so I could take all of you out for a steak dinner.

I love you all and I can't wait to see you at the wedding on Saturday.

WHOSE WEDDING IS IT ANYWAY?????

Ladies and Gentlemen, AS IF you didn't know that I'm engaged because I've been clearly stating it for the past year or so.

But that's not what my bitch is about. I'm having a hard time with a few things lately. and Its not like my life had been quietly playing out all its drama as of late. Not in the slightest. Some of you are probably still wondering WTF!!! I don't feel like going into alot of details because I strongly believe in privacy.

Me and my Fiance are working through a few problems and I am glad to announce his arival home finally after six years, Yup you read that right. We've been dating for the past 8 years but i moved to the city and for 6 years we've been doing a "Long Distance Relationship" IT SUCKS ASS.

I missed him alot and it made travel time very difficult because I don't drive. I'm sure if I did I would have drove out to the country more. Many times I've wanted to end the relationship but he told me we can make this work. Too many people give up to easy, and thats what we both hated about today's society. No one believes in working hard anymore. And those that do get the shit end of the stick.

When I felt like I just couldn't take it any more and I was at my wits end with the way I was being treated by his family, my fiance told me not to give up.

He proposed to me one night while getting together with my parents. We were already engaged but I kinda resented that he never propsed to me properly, we had just agreed to get married and then made the anouncement at a family gathering.

So there I am crying because I was just getting over a pre life crissis ( a mid life crissis are for women who are cougars) DR. Knowitall is down on one knee and hes holding my hands trieng to convince me not to run. He tells me how much he loves me and needs me, I'm crying even more after he asks that I marry him this year instead of next year.

Like a moron I'm thinking "I have no camera" I tell him that I would. which gave us exactly 3 months to plan a wedding....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Everything is being done I just have to pay for the cake, The rings were prity easy to find, the flowers are being made as we speek. The dress is in my closet awaiting for my chesty body to lose a few inches so I can do up the zipper. Point of advice future brides this should be the time that you buy the dress, I made the mistake of going back in the winter time to buy the dress (gatta love winter weight)

My mother in law is a sweet woman, I love her. But the only thing we have in common is the fact that we had a ruff bringing up. Shes taken the burdon of planning our wedding, how ever I think she's planning more her wedding then mine. She doesn't like what we chose for our wedding toppers, she wants full controll of the music selection, and shes even tried to change the dress on me SEVRAL TIMES.


Ladys I'm not a girley girl, I just wanted a BAR-B-Q and a potluck dinner with some friends and family. I realy didn't want a big suaret. But there must be a party. Hey I'm all for dancing and having a great time, but I also don't want to feel like a guest at my own wedding. So my dear fiance is going to talk to his mom about a few things that we don't agree on.

It the man's wedding too and I want to make sure that he has a say in what goes as well, but he told me he just wants to get married he doesn't care as long as i'm wearing a white dress and theres a minister at the alter.

I feel like i'm going insane but I know all will work out in the end.

The Good ol' Mr. Jay

I want to thank all of you for being there for me in the last few months. I know my facebook page played out like one of those crappy soap opera's, but rest assured things are slowly getting back together.

Some of you are probably wondering what the hell happened, me I'm still not sure. One moment I had a new friend that I was excited to hang out with, next minute I'm all confused and hoping that god would just end my life.

For the past 9 months I was hanging out with such a sweet, caring, stable, amazing gentleman. We met while I was at work before I got transferd to the store I am at now. He came in wearing a spider man shirt, and me being a nerd for comics I made a comment about his shirt. We started talking about our favorite comics and it was an instant connection.

I gave him my phone number because he asked if I would like to purchase a few comics and figurines from him and my nerdy side just couldn't say no. Few days go by and we set up to meet eachother at the mall, and of course I set it up for a time where I would meet him right after i get off work. Which stupid me it takes me about half an hour just to walk from where the bus lets me off to my home. I chose to walk because heaven for bid the buses should be running on time.

I finally got to the mall, late and unaware that he had taken off five minutes prior to me showing up. we agreed to meet in the food court, so I got my self dinner at Arbey's (which is now KFC). I turn around with my tray and i haven't even taken a step and my drink fell to the ground. If he was their I'm sure he would have been my night in shining armor and bought me a new drink. I waited for two hours and nothing.

I got home and there was a message from him wandering where I was. I called him back and told him sorry and told him the whole mishap with my dinner. We had a good laugh and rearranged for him to come to my house another day.

Now this guy may not have been the best looking guy on the planet, but his voice was incredible, and he had these awesome sparkly baby blue eyes. He charmed everyone around him, even my fiance liked him and he doesn't like anyone.

I told him about my radio station I was trying to create and he was intrigued, so i showed him what it was all about. He became my partner in crime for my show known to the audience as Prime...later to be changed to MR. Jay. We were a hit!!!

My birthday came and I had gone to the store for some goodies to prepare for the birthday bash show. I had Bought myself my Marilyn Monroe outfit. I bought My fiance his DR. Knowitall costume which he didn't wear because he had to fix our ceiling that day. I made a cake and bought some sparklers. I was excited to do the show and see my friend. go to http://www.blogtv.com/people/willowspillow to see the vid on my birthday bash.

by October we were hanging out regularly and doing shows until my fiances sister moved back into town. I had to change my schedule of my show, and one evening we were having a blast by looking up random stuff online. She comes in MR. Jay said hi, I introduce them the best I could, but I warned him prior that shes a bitch. She stomps upstairs and we went back to our business. The phone rings five minutes later. My fiances on the other end telling me to be quiet because his sister called him to complain that we're making too much noise. Now she could have calmly walked down the stairs told us that she wants to go to bed. I would have called it a night, but I got pissed that she would have the odasity to call her brother to get me to be quiet.

Those who just met me, my fiance and I had a strange relationship for the past eight years, six of which I lived here in Winnipeg and he stayed home so he can continue to work at the cabinet shop. Oh beleive me we had our share of ultimatums thrown at eachother.

After that incident I found it difficult to continue with the show, so I focused on working and triyng to get a job in radio. MR. Jay and I continued to hang out regularly at resturants and movies. Any place where we could get away from my situation at home. He could see I wasn't happy at home. I wasn't getting along with my fiances sister, every time she and I were in the same room we would fight.

Mr. Jay and I had the same interests, We loved the same comics, the same music interest. Who else do you know listens to Aqua to cheer them up after a bad day. When I saw that CD in his car I was blown away. I love aqua. We were intellectually on par with eachother. But here's the kicker he was 10 years older. I'm 26 and he had just turned 36 in April.

I saw sadness in his eyes as well, he wanted to settle down get married and have kids. He was looking for love in all the wrong places and letting women walk all over him. I tryied my best to give him the confidence to ask women out, but he had his heart set on me.

He had met several of my friends and family and they liked him too. His parents were like the parents from "That 70's Show" Never expected to meet such an outstanding family in my life. I had my fair share of strange families but this was the perfect family. I kinda got scared because I wasn't used to such a loving group. I felt so at home with them. It still hard not to call them up and show them appreciation for them taking me in and feeding me.

I'm not the one to believe in soul mates but he was convinced that's what we were. I'm not going to lie that we had a strong bond with eachother and it hurt when we weren't around eachother for a few week. He went on vacation to Florida after christmas and he wanted me to come with him. We talked constantly on the phone telling eachother the story of our days. He ended up with a pretty expensive phone bill by the end of his vacation. I tried to pay him back with what I could afford.

Now I'm not blaming what happened solely on him, I am to blame for alot of this as well. I could have been alot stronger and kept him at arms length. I had wanted to break up my engagement several times but something kept me from packing up and leaving.

Its been a tough 9 months and I wish it didn't have to end but I didn't want to seem like I was using him, and I feel really guilty for making him fall so hard for me. If I could have done things differently I would have. He doesn't deserve to be treated this way by any more women, He needs someone who will accept him for the caring, sweet, funny, intellectual human being he is.

MR. Jay if your reading this I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me, this was not my intentions. You have showed me things about myself that I had no idea existed. Thank you for having faith in me when my own faith in myself diminished. You will always be my best friend, and hope that you find the happiness you deserve.

Please have a listen to the song I wrote about this situation. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAFcDkQiwI4

Its not only about my own feelings but what he told me he felt. Who knows what fait has instore for us. Don't take love for granted, fallow your heart, and make sure you have faith in yourself.

WHY CAN'T I GET A FULL TIME JOB?

I know our economy is bad and the price of living has gone up. But at the same time shouldn't employers give more of an incentive for those "RELIABLE" employees to stay at their jobs?

I have bills to pay just like every responsible Canadian, and I also have health issues that require me to be on medication. I have no insurance, nor do I have a job that offers such for part time employers.

I've been working in retail for the last 8 years and I have yet to see myself get full time status. Oh sure I have quit many jobs in search of better employment, but I always seem to get the ones that claim to offer a chance to move up. But when it comes to the moving up, it seems like I don't measure up to the "high standards" that this corporate world has.

Now i don't want to make it look like I'm complaining about my job. Believe me I have a wonderful job. I would really like to stay and grow with the industry of video games. This job gives me a chance to be the dork I am and lets me do exactly what I am great at. However I have made myself available on my days off and I have become the go to girl if you must have a day off.

I really don't have a life outside of work there for I will make sure that I work my ass off. I truly can't stand having so many days off. TV is boring, I've watched all my movies, and my videogames are almost all beat.

I'm not asking to be management, allthough it would be cool. I'm just in need of a full time possition so that i can finally get the benifits that I NEED so i don't have to spend so much out of my own pocket for my health.

I'm sure there are many people who read this that are going through the same thing. Why are there an abundance of people in theese managerial roles not paying attention to those of us who work our fingers to the bone.

We break our backs for minimum wage, we deal with grouchy customers, we do exactly what we are told and there is no thanks. No parties are thrown in our favor and heaven for bid the big wigs in their offices should allow us to have a vacation. OH NOOOOOOOO We're part time that stuff is for the full time emplyees.

Again this isn't me bitching about my job, it the retail industry in genral. I know what many of you are thinking. If I am unhapy with what i do then go somewhere else. The truth is if i go somewhere else the same crap is going to happen. I'll work my ass off for a year or two, but still be in the same boat.

All I want is a chance to finally get paid what i deserve. To get that perverbial pat on the back every now and then, and for someone to finally relaize that I care about my job so I should be rewarded fulltime with benifits.

Wedding Gitters

Now that new years is over and everyone is in the process of breaking their New Years Resolutions let me be the first to congratulate those who decided not to make a resolution. I don't see the point of them, i was once one of those people that once said "By this time next year I'm going to be smoke free." i didn't quit smoking until September of 2007.

With our economy being the way it is, I'm realizing that I need to re think my career. I am not going to give up on my dream of becoming a successful broadcaster however i may have to change my career for a while so that i can save up enough money for myself to get all the technology i need to start my business. This is going to suck ass royally for me. The only thing i have proven to do well is being in retail...I hate retail.

Its at the point now where my life seems to be going no where, Yeah i know I'm getting married in a few months but honestly i have to admit. I'm scared. its not the fact that i have cold feet. its my family and friends. My sisters hate my family, and their not even willing to put aside their bullshit long enough for me to walk down the isle. Which means i will have to rely on two other women who don't know me as much and the last time we hung out together for the whole day was back in high school. I do have a few guy friends who i consider to be good friends but i can't exactly have them as my bridesmaids. trust me two heavy set men in plumb purple dresses. I'm not trying to do a production of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

My husband to be and I haven't even come close to picking out our wedding song. Don't couples usually have this sort of thin figured out during the dating process? Man its worse that going to the dentist and having the man fall asleep while your mouth is propped open waiting for him to Finnish the capping process on your teeth. (BTW this actually happened)

I keep having this recurring nightmare that my wedding is one big disaster, everyone complaining about the food, the wedding party gets lost, and my dress gets destroyed. Maybe i should just do the safe thing and sign the paper work and then have a giant social instead. its cheaper and less hassle for my family to start WORLD WAR III.

Well that's enough bitching for now, have a good one.